I really can't believe I am still pregnant! But I am thrilled that I am :) When you start having contractions at 22 weeks, 32 weeks feels so far away, but here we are, taking it one day at a time and not taking anything for granted. When I started having trouble months ago I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to just make it to 28 weeks so my baby could have a chance. Today I feel so blessed that I have been given so much more than that, what a lucky girl I am!
I have to send a shout out to all my amazing friends that have made the last few weeks of "partial" bedrest so incredibly easy. The "Presidency" (you know who you are :) have made sure that we have dinner every other night, and man it has been good eatin' at our house! This is the 4th week they have done this, can you believe it? Then there was the fabulous shower my friends threw on Saturday- seriously, thank you guys so much. It meant so much to me that you would take the time to do that for me, and to everyone that came I had a blast!!
There have been so many others that have offered to watch my girls or have had them over, I tear up just thinking about all the amazing women out there that are so willing to sacrifice to bless the lives of others.
I think sometimes in life our trial just don't seem to make sense, so I always try to find what I can learn from the situation, to find some good from it. I have learned ALOT from this pregnancy, but the thing that stands out the most is how important serving others is. Some of the things that have meant the most to me have been little phone calls, or people saying they have had us in there prayers. I have also been so blown away by people that don't even know us that well, that have been willing to do so much for us. That is having the pure love of Christ, and that is how I want to be. I can't wait until I am back to normal (as normal as I will be with 3 crazy kids!:) so I can repay just a little bit of what I feel has been given to me these last few weeks. I know that in our lives we have the opportunity to be angels to those around us, and I want to thank my angels that have made this burden a little easier to bear!!
3.25.2009
3.01.2009
What a weekend!
Well, I thought it was sort of inevitable, but this is just crazy!! Friday I checked into the hospital with lots of contractions, found out I am dialated to a 1 and 40 percent effaced. At 29 weeks!! This is so much earlier than I have encountered problems before, I was not prepared. Luckily the medication they gave me slowed the contractions down a ton and I was able to come home with strict instructions to "rest". Why are they so vague?? I finally got it out of them that basically we are talking bedrest. It begins!!
Normally I would be freaking out, but for some reason I have felt so calm this time around. Maybe because I am getting used to this kind of drama, but I think its a lot more a gift of peace from my Heavenly Father. After we had Kendall I had a really amazing experience in the hospital with her. She had been there for about two weeks and I was really discouraged. She had begun to have episodes where she would quit breathing and turn blue. They would have to give her oxygen and get her going again, it was so terrifying!! Anyway I was really struggling, and I remember having a great internal battle. I could feel my Savior and the Holy Ghost trying to comfort me, but I wouldn't accept it. I kept pointing out "what ifs" and wanting to KNOW that she would be okay, wanted that specifically said in a blessing. Long story short I was very humbled one night as I sat in the nursery around midnight feeding her. A very sick new baby was brought in and he didn't make it through the night. I remember going out to my car and sobbing to my Heavenly Father, asking him for forgiveness for not trusting him, and knowing he knows me better than I know myself. I promised him the next time I would be stronger, and that I would trust in him whatever the outcome. I think this may be my chance to do just that!!
And also can I just say, I have the best friends and family in the whole world!! By today I already have people lined up to help with my kids all next week and meals for my family. I don't know what I would do without you, and I know you will be blessed for they sacrifices you are making for my little family. I can't wait until I can return the favor, I much prefer being the helper to the helpee :)
Normally I would be freaking out, but for some reason I have felt so calm this time around. Maybe because I am getting used to this kind of drama, but I think its a lot more a gift of peace from my Heavenly Father. After we had Kendall I had a really amazing experience in the hospital with her. She had been there for about two weeks and I was really discouraged. She had begun to have episodes where she would quit breathing and turn blue. They would have to give her oxygen and get her going again, it was so terrifying!! Anyway I was really struggling, and I remember having a great internal battle. I could feel my Savior and the Holy Ghost trying to comfort me, but I wouldn't accept it. I kept pointing out "what ifs" and wanting to KNOW that she would be okay, wanted that specifically said in a blessing. Long story short I was very humbled one night as I sat in the nursery around midnight feeding her. A very sick new baby was brought in and he didn't make it through the night. I remember going out to my car and sobbing to my Heavenly Father, asking him for forgiveness for not trusting him, and knowing he knows me better than I know myself. I promised him the next time I would be stronger, and that I would trust in him whatever the outcome. I think this may be my chance to do just that!!
And also can I just say, I have the best friends and family in the whole world!! By today I already have people lined up to help with my kids all next week and meals for my family. I don't know what I would do without you, and I know you will be blessed for they sacrifices you are making for my little family. I can't wait until I can return the favor, I much prefer being the helper to the helpee :)
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