3.01.2009

What a weekend!

Well, I thought it was sort of inevitable, but this is just crazy!! Friday I checked into the hospital with lots of contractions, found out I am dialated to a 1 and 40 percent effaced. At 29 weeks!! This is so much earlier than I have encountered problems before, I was not prepared. Luckily the medication they gave me slowed the contractions down a ton and I was able to come home with strict instructions to "rest". Why are they so vague?? I finally got it out of them that basically we are talking bedrest. It begins!!
Normally I would be freaking out, but for some reason I have felt so calm this time around. Maybe because I am getting used to this kind of drama, but I think its a lot more a gift of peace from my Heavenly Father. After we had Kendall I had a really amazing experience in the hospital with her. She had been there for about two weeks and I was really discouraged. She had begun to have episodes where she would quit breathing and turn blue. They would have to give her oxygen and get her going again, it was so terrifying!! Anyway I was really struggling, and I remember having a great internal battle. I could feel my Savior and the Holy Ghost trying to comfort me, but I wouldn't accept it. I kept pointing out "what ifs" and wanting to KNOW that she would be okay, wanted that specifically said in a blessing. Long story short I was very humbled one night as I sat in the nursery around midnight feeding her. A very sick new baby was brought in and he didn't make it through the night. I remember going out to my car and sobbing to my Heavenly Father, asking him for forgiveness for not trusting him, and knowing he knows me better than I know myself. I promised him the next time I would be stronger, and that I would trust in him whatever the outcome. I think this may be my chance to do just that!!
And also can I just say, I have the best friends and family in the whole world!! By today I already have people lined up to help with my kids all next week and meals for my family. I don't know what I would do without you, and I know you will be blessed for they sacrifices you are making for my little family. I can't wait until I can return the favor, I much prefer being the helper to the helpee :)

10 comments:

Hollie Hanson

Tonii I am so sorry to hear you are already having trouble! You are so strong to be going through it and be able to stay as calm and poised as you are. I found out at 29 weeks that I was dilated to a 2 and 70% effaced with Lillie. I was FREAKING out! So we prepared ourselves for a preemie. Around 34 weeks the contracts started coming regularly a couple times a week. I Was terrified! But even with all the complications and close calls, we ended up having to get induced at 39 weeks and she came out healthy as can be! I am suer your new little boy will come when it is the right time. (by his and Gods standards not ours) :) We are keeping your family in our prayers. Take it easy and let me know if your girls need a play date on a weekend!

lisa eborn

We hope everything will be ok. You have lots of prayers coming your way. I'll make sure your name is in the temple tomorrow. Stay Strong. We love you guys!

Spence Family

Hey I was home on Friday morning! You should have called! Please let me know if I can do anything, (i.e. clean your house, make your family dinner, buy ice cream for you at 2:30 a.m. when you can't sleep and that is what you want...) let's be honest I am most likely awake too and wanting someone to share it with Ha ha I'll check with you in a couple days to make sure your doing okay :)

Lisa Kay

You really are amazing Tonii, I admire your strength! I can't wait to hang out tomorrow -- be thinking of what you need and put me to work! Love ya!

~Conradis~

Tonii, If you need ANYTHING please let me know, I know you aren't one to ask so I will show up at your doorstep in my bum clothes with my little one in hand and ready to work! I love ya to death. You are an amazing gift! Yesterday the YW lesson from Teara was on being a mother and a spouse, couldn't help but think of you and the WONDERFUL mother you are, and spouse, AND daughter of God! You are stronger than you know and made even stronger through him! Everything will be just fine, like you said you have peace even at a scary time. The Lord has prepared you in so many ways! Keep rested, I will be calling you soon, was going to this morning couldn't get you and your family off my mind (at 6 am) so I thought I would let you sleep, hey you need it!

Nate Anderson

I hope Paul didn't think that you "had Gas"... like he did before... :)
Like we have offered before, please don't hesitate to let us help if we can! We love your little family...

Marc and Randy Patterson

Hey Tonii! Sounds like you had a busy weekend! We will keep you and your family in our prayers! :) Let me know if there is anything I can do for ya.

Heath694

Tonii you are in our prayers and thoughts and hope you stick it out for as long as possible!! That little one will have to wait!

Flockhart Family

I am so sorry to hear about you having so many problems. I went on bed rest with MacRae at 28 weeks to 36 weeks, followed by an emergency C-section. I know exacatly how you feel. You are such an amazing mother, and woman to continue to bring those wonderful spirits into this world after how hard it has been each time. We will keep you in our prayers. Please let us bring you dinner, and let us know if there is anyhting else I can do for you.

Cory and Krista

How are you feeling? Hope you are doing well.